A Better Day

close my eyes drift away to thoughts of a better day I reminisce over the past I dream of the future anything but the present so many times I feel weak exhausted frustrated in despair I want to give up fighting for my future is the only thing that keeps my head up all day I keep my smile I pretend it doesn’t hurt I stay as strong as I can but no one knows the truth at night when all alone I let pent up tears roll down my face I don’t try to dry them or hold them back I cry out to God and plead for my old life back everyone wants to help offers to hold my hand but no one quite understands what it feels like… my hair keeps falling out I feel so ugly my body isn’t mine, I can’t plan my future I feel so weak I barely feel alive my heart is hurting my eyes can’t cry anymore I hate this I hate what this does to me to my family to my soul mate to my friends just please be over soon make it go away God, just give me strength don’t leave my side until thoughts of a better day aren’t just thoughts Amanda Twellman 12/29/02