Celebrating Amanda’s Life - Her Story
These words were read by Amanda’s father, Tom, at her memorial.
For the last few days I’ve struggled to find the words to honor Amanda’s
memory. I’ve prayed that God would guide me, but how can anyone
prepare for a day like today? How do I describe a lifetime of memories in
only a few minutes? I could tell you about Amanda - our little girl, from
bedtime stories, to losing her first tooth, from soccer games, to spelling
bees, from graduation, to her wedding...or I could share with you about
her incredible faith in God. Ultimately, I decided to do both.
Amanda often used poetry to pour out her soul and put her raw emotions
on paper. In honor of Amanda, I’d like to begin by reading her first poem,
written at age 16, shortly after being diagnosed with cancer. It’s titled -
Little Things.
We are here to celebrate the life of our daughter, Amanda. It is often said
that parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children and that burying
your child is one of the most painful experiences a parent will ever
endure. But, after 23 years of life, Amanda taught us that today is not a
funeral, it is a celebration; a celebration of her life and, more importantly,
a celebration of her victory over death through Christ.
Amanda was born June 10, 1982 just a few miles from home, in Newport
Beach. On that day, Linda, and I had no idea about the journey we were
about to begin or how much our lives were about to change forever.
Amanda was our first of four children and quickly became a “daddy’s girl”.
Linda was a little jealous, but from the time Amanda could fit into a car
seat, she went everywhere with me. We were joined at the hip and she
quickly learned to like pickup trucks and country music.
I’ll never forget how she would jump out of bed every morning when she
heard the garage door open and run to the window and wave to me as I
left for work. She never missed a day. We were inseparable and everyday I
couldn’t wait to get home from work to spend time with her. She was my
little Shelle Belle. I never missed a parent teacher conference, a recital, an
award ceremony, soccer game, or any other event. I was a Mr. Mom and
proud of it. She was my Sugar Plum and I was her Sour Peach.
I have so many wonderful memories of Amanda growing up. But, I also remember a date that will forever be etched in my mind. The date was November 10, 1998 and Amanda was only 16 years old. On that day I heard four words that a parent never wants to hear, “Your daughter has cancer”. It was devastating news to the entire family, but Amanda was a fighter and more importantly, she possessed an amazingly strong faith in God and Jesus Christ - a gift she got from her mother. I remember taking her home after the bad news and talking with her about the upcoming treatment. Amanda wasn’t afraid because shew knew that “dad would fix everything”.
I have so many wonderful memories of Amanda growing up. But, I also remember a date that will forever be etched in my mind. The date was November 10, 1998 and Amanda was only 16 years old. On that day I heard four words that a parent never wants to hear, “Your daughter has cancer”. It was devastating news to the entire family, but Amanda was a fighter and more importantly, she possessed an amazingly strong faith in God and Jesus Christ - a gift she got from her mother. I remember taking her home after the bad news and talking with her about the upcoming treatment. Amanda wasn’t afraid because shew knew that “dad would fix everything”.
She and I went out for an evening walk and she looked at me and said,
“I’m so glad that I got cancer at such a young age.” I was stunned by her
comment and she explained to me: “Having cancer has opened my eyes
and I can see life so clearly now. I used to worry about things like what
kind of clothes I wore or what kind of car I would drive. Now, all of that
doesn’t’ seem so important. I don’t want to spend one minute of my life on
a negative thought. Most people live to old age and never figure it out. But
I’ve figured it out at 16 and now I have my whole life to live differently.”
That was my Amanda. We often think that we lead our children, but
from that point on, Amanda was leading me.
The poems she wrote show the constant growth she underwent during
her 7-year battle with cancer, as her faith was constantly tested and
strengthened. Amanda always wanted to be remembered by her faith and
never played the victim. She wanted God to use her in any way He chose,
even if that meant showing others how she drew upon His strength
during her illness.
Amanda told me that she didn’t want to be a passive Christian. She
read the Bible daily and supplemented her studies with books, prayer,
and bible studies in an effort to reach what she called the next level in
her faith.
I’d like to read one of her poems that describes who she was and what
she stood for. It’s kind of an in-your-face, faith poem, where Amanda
goes on the offense for Christ. It’s titled - Live by Heart.
Many are heartbroken about Amanda and the difficult life that she
lived. I often wondered what life would have been like if she were
never sick. But she cherished her life, filled with love for God, and
family, and friends, and her loving husband, Aaron. Her quality of life
was not measured by the number of years she lived, but by what she
accomplished in those years. We all may wonder if our lives have made
a difference to anyone. From that perspective, Amanda lived a full life,
accomplished so much, and made a difference in more lives than many
who live to old age.
From her first diagnosis to the day she passed away, God blessed us
with seven more years with Amanda and for that I will be forever
grateful. During that time we enjoyed a high school graduation, an 18th
and 21st birthday, and I got to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.
Those are some of the precious memories that I will cherish forever.
Before she died, Amanda said that if she had helped even one person
turn towards God, then the last seven years of pain and suffering was
all worth it. I can tell you that she turned me toward God and made
me want to be a better person and a better Christian. That is part of her
legacy and will live within me for the rest of my life.
Amanda shared her dying wishes and they were:
- I want to have the song “How will they remember me” played at
my memorial.
- I don’t want you to forget me.
- I want my poems published and given out for free to inspire others
and show them the source of my strength, from my faith.
- I want to thank everyone at work who helped me and my family for
so many years. I want them to know that I will always be grateful for
their support.
- I want my family and friends to accept Christ as I did, that I will
see them all in heaven.
I can only imagine God embracing Amanda in heaven and saying to
her, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”
I miss you, Amanda.
In my heart, I will love you forever.
Dad
Amanda's Life
Tribute Video
Please excuse the poor resolution.
